I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
