Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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