we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
