I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize