Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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