she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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