By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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