So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
