I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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