AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
