I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
