Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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