Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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