Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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