I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
