billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
