Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm at about main and main street
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
