Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
