Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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