Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
