ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
