My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
