my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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