A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
