Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
