For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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