Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
