walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
