I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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