Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am midnight drunk by noon
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
