I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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