Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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