seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
