garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
