forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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