now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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