If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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