Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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