exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
