I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
