Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
