I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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