i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
