If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize