I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
