I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
