i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
