remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i dont even know how to be here
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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