Can i not drive my cunt home
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
