You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
