last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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