put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
