i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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