The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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