It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
